0:00
[Music] I don't know you're in charge of the

0:07
buttons numbers counting up oh we've gotten pretty good at this stuff yeah we

0:14
haven't uh not hit record well you know what although I just almost didn't hit

0:19
record I was going to say don't be saying that don't be saying that be careful it's all right yeah a little

0:25
dose of humility is good for us that's true yeah yeah yeah humility it's just

0:30
one of those words powerful word oh it is a powerful word yeah let's a Segway

0:38
now you have to run with it I was just going to say hello Justin oh right uh hello

0:44
Mark good morning good morning how are you I am well I hear you yeah yes indeed

0:53
speaking of humility MH thank you for the humbling last night at uh Ultimate Frisbee that was fun that was fun that

1:00
was fun it was a humbling experience so that was good yeah fun time had by all

1:07
yeah sometimes you know you guys are pretty good at humbling the other yeah

1:13
like uh Mark and John his son are play on a team often and when they get that

1:20
chemistry going there's literally no stopping it thankfully last night there

1:25
was a little yeah it was a fun short circuit in the chemistry I think cuz yeah yeah it was good you let us have

1:32
some victory oh it was it was fun it was fun there were some there were some close ones that were that were fun and

1:37
then like say there were some blowouts that were humility hum humbling there

1:42
humbling and I got to come over to your team for the last one that was fun too yeah yeah so yeah we won when you were

1:49
on our team I'm not sure you deciding to vote but I will I will say your wife Megan she was on your team yeah and you

1:56
guys won majority so maybe Megan is the deciding she's The Magic Ticket the

2:02
factor yeah yeah yeah but

2:09
[Music] yeah welcome to how I see it with me

2:15
Mark pra and Justin Sternberg this is a podcast that works to

2:21
countercultural polarization through thoughtful [Music]

2:28
conversations speaking of WI yes it was your dear wife yes who

2:33
suggested this topic yes it was this topic of The Power of Words yes so this

2:40
one goes out to Chris that's right we're going to talk about the power of words we are so go ahead we all say so at the

2:48
same time first person with the question wins what are some powerful words uh

2:55
you've experienced in your life and for the sake

3:01
of I don't know bound uh some some sort of boundaries around this topic let's

3:09
let's let's talk about well I was going to say single words but you know what that doesn't make let's go wherever we

3:16
need to go I hear you well I think each word has a certain level of

3:21
power but when we combine them right I'm yeah cuz I was starting to think about like scripts based on something we heard

3:28
you know someone said to us well that's where I was that was ultimately the you know when that was going to be my

3:34
question for you but you beat me to it in that process of thinking about the

3:42
the people who have spoken into your life at specific

3:48
times you know that that for me that depi defines more so the Power of Words

3:55
and and our ability at times to speak life into people people or even circumstances I would say

4:04
you know versus uh well the opposite of speaking

4:09
life would be speaking death criticism yeah you know and I and I think

4:15
both um are example of the power that words have our words are

4:23
nuclear it's not that just once the Soundwave stops you know that those words are done

4:31
yeah and I think you know that's that's very mindful when we think about or when we think back in our own lives those

4:38
people who have you know either encouraged us or you know criticized Us

4:45
and how those words even after the the sound wave have died are still yeah you

4:51
know in our kind of lodged in our souls if you will yeah to that degree I believe that is part of the Power of

4:58
Words y and yet yeah it's the lodging in the soul yeah yes yeah yeah absolutely I

5:06
um I can certainly in this is a question I will ask you first oh no problem um

5:11
but I can certainly think of words or like you know statements set at certain

5:16
times in my life that kind of have carried with me as a script right like

5:21
when I say script I mean kind of a uh something that comes up in my head over and over my whole life to kind of try to

5:30
Define who I think I can be or should should or shouldn't be yeah um but I'd

5:35
be curious if you have any of those and what comes to mind yeah I think uh and

5:40
it's interesting um I've had probably uh

5:46
I've probably had at least four you know mentors in my life you know that I

5:54
really just kind of and I and I think back on those conversations at times and

6:01
um I don't know whether I've mentioned it before but uh Jeff Patton was very uh influential for me I remember hearing

6:07
that name shout out to Jeff Patton well he died of covid I mean in memory in memory rest in

6:15
peace dear yeah he uh he definitely spoke you know words into my life he was

6:21
uh you know even when Chris and I you know kind of thinking of Chris you know when Chris and I were dating you know

6:27
just having those conversations with him you know about you know marriage and

6:32
relationship and that kind of thing and you know other other people who came in

6:38
at times you know during life cycles you know when you're in the midst of trying to make a

6:45
decision you know and um I had another a fell who is still alive uh bill was his

6:51
name um is his name you know we were uh when we were thinking about moving to

6:57
South Carolina or to North Carolina as far as the Church Plant you know he just really spoke uh you know about faith and

7:04
then we talked about Jonah and you know that part where he's sinking in the water and you know I've

7:12
exchanged uh Jonah was saying I have exchanged the blessings of God for

7:19
worthless Idols you know and just people you know it doesn't always have to be scripture for me but you know those

7:26
things that you know kind of speak and say okay yeah this is a this is a

7:32
pivotal moment and those those guys you know for

7:38
my life were there to encourage me with you know positive words and you know I can reflect back on

7:45
those and of course you know even you know especially with Chris and you know

7:50
the kids even there's those moments where you know they speak and it's like

7:56
the light bulb goes off because they just said something that kind of affirmed or or even challenged who I was

8:05
as a husband father those kind of things so those I think those are the power words and I think we don't

8:13
necessarily recognize that power yeah at times when

8:18
we're just wanting to spout off if I may say so you know in the midst of anger or

8:24
reactivity yeah how about you what about what uh what people or places or

8:29
circumstances come to mind when you think of uh pivotal moments or Power of

8:34
Words uh well before that you may me think about how yeah we don't recognize

8:40
the The Power of Words until we see them see the power right like it's often

8:45
where with it's it especially when I you know it's my words that were powerful in

8:51
a negative way in particular that it's like well you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube you know yeah um which

8:58
you know I think there is room for Redemption and and you know apologizing and and that kind of thing and um I I

9:05
definitely U as the resident critic here I definitely pray that uh that

9:12
there will be some Redemption for some of my inner in inert innert critic no uh

9:19
whatever my default state which is to want to criticize or like you know to

9:24
make better you know sure sure Excellence yeah exactly Excellence call

9:31
back to a couple weeks ago if you need to listen to that uh but yeah yeah I

9:36
think so I think so and I think um for me um I can think of instances where

9:43
I've said things or I just pray and hope it doesn't become one of those stuck in

9:49
the head things does that make sense yeah yeah you you'd like an eraser if you could yeah yeah and in fact you know

9:56
I've known Megan since I was in seventh grade and we've dated since I think I was in I think when I was a senior we

10:04
started dating I can't remember Megan would remember sure um

10:09
and like so there's been you know there's there's many many years of uh

10:15
dialogue between us but there's certainly some things that roll around in Megan's head that I said you know the

10:21
first year we were married you know that kind of thing yeah where it's like man I wish I could go back to stupid Justin

10:27
and smack that out of his mouth sure you know what I mean CU it's like uh and

10:32
often there are things where like you said it's said in a frustrating moment

10:38
or um yeah and it's not even the full extent of how you know we feel right

10:45
sure I think about also my dad who's who often tells me the story because um I

10:53
sing you know with worship and stuff like that and I play guitar and so anything you want to sing right now

10:59
comeing do happy birthday to you is it your birthday no but that's there you go

11:05
nice job thank you thank you uh back to your dad thank you very

11:12
much he often tells this story uh be of how his third grade teacher called him

11:18
out for how bad his singing was oh wow right like say I can't remember the comment but he you know was a pretty

11:25
like critical almost making fun of him comment you know what I mean he basically yeah I think he and he just

11:32
internalized that and said oh that that's who I am I'm I'm the kid who can't sing I got it check you know and

11:38
kind of just that was his identity from that point till now I mean and I I don't

11:44
think he doesn't think he can sing anymore but I just think the idea of singing in front of other people is just

11:50
no than you know yeah and I I totally get that too I definitely cuz I

11:56
struggled a lot with self-esteem when I was younger someone would have said said that to me I I can relate completely

12:02
thankfully I didn't put myself out there in that way cuz I'm sure I would have gotten comments like that um whatever

12:10
level I'm able to sing now has taken a lot of work to try and kind of refine

12:15
the rough material that I what I would say my voice is so there you go and I

12:20
think that's true you know just as far as singing goes I think almost anyone can sing with a little bit of work and

12:27
there's not like this inherent genius get where you know unless you can't unless you can't sing um an Kei I mean

12:34
that that's an unfortunate you know situation but that doesn't mean you can't sing just means people might not

12:39
enjoy hearing it but you know other than that you can work out a lot of Kinks and

12:44
and tonality and stuff like that huh yeah not not and that's but that would

12:51
be the power of a song yeah would be the power of a vocal teacher yes you know

12:57
what I I think about it as I as I the joke I think about it too even you know songs you know worship yeah you know the

13:05
power of words to be able to you know encourage to lift up to to transform our

13:12
focus at times and I was thinking about uh when you were talking about early on

13:19
first year Justin Megan what do you think makes the difference for you from

13:25
then till now what has been that transformation if you

13:31
will well transformation is a strong word yeah I'm still Justin so you know I

13:39
still I think like every husband probably slips up you know to time says

13:44
the wrong thing at the wrong wrong time and then finds out that it really had an impact that was

13:49
unintended um so I would say that's certainly still a thing that happens

13:55
um I think I think the answer is more likely

14:00
a shared growth in other words um growth in Megan to understand sometimes Justin

14:06
you know says stuff when you know like sometimes humans say things when they're frustrated they don't mean from the

14:12
bottom of their heart and and kind of a you know like I said kind of a growth on her part to go to understand that

14:19
yeah and a growth on my part to you know try not to say as much when you you know

14:25
you know the whole if you don't have something good to say don't say anything at all but especially if you're angry or frustrated in the moment like it's

14:32
better to keep your mouth shut so definitely some of that um but like I said I don't I think I

14:39
think I wouldn't say I'm completely transformed I still struggle with no I hear you you know saying the wrong thing

14:44
at the wrong time and um again critique is kind of an Achilles heel of mine and

14:50
I find you know like I'll let little critique slip out and go what why why

14:57
yeah that's not a hill worth even Crossing much less dying over you know I

15:02
me U so yeah and I and I with you I think that or I was I was thinking the

15:08
speaking of words the word maturity comes to mind I think you know as we

15:14
grow or to a certain degree or grow in relationship with someone you know we

15:19
tend to we hopefully tend to learn those

15:24
those aspects where oh shuck that that didn't have the intended effect that I

15:30
wanted and if anything it was actually counterproductive to building that

15:35
relationship and I think you know as we as we I think as we tend to age we

15:41
become more mindful of how you know our words I think it's it can be kind of

15:47
that accumulation yeah of words and being able to recognize because I think

15:52
there's a lot of things that we might implement or change or do momentarily that we don't always

15:59
necessarily reap the the harvest of until you know a couple years down the

16:05
road then we like oh maybe that wasn't the the right thing to say or yeah and that's and I go ahead

16:15
no you go well I was thinking about even you know when we think about right and wrong words uh or right and wrong things to

16:22
say I'm I'm minded I'm reminded kind of of the point I don't think I don't think

16:29
it's as much I think we can say most anything that needs to be said

16:37
but I think the way we say it makes all the difference yeah in that context when

16:42
we think of the Power of Words it's not that you know I can't complain about a

16:48
circumstance but yet when it come when it goes towards criticism versus just you know when I'm

16:54
tearing a person down in the midst of my complaint then I'm then I believe I'm C we're

17:01
crossing a line MH and I you know and I think at times you know in our in our

17:07
sarcastic world we don't always STP stop at times to think about you know does

17:14
that really need to be said in that way yeah yeah yeah I want and here's a

17:20
question for you in a minute okay you can ruminate on because I have another question for you now okay yeah yeah I

17:28
hear you here's the question for the in a minute is there room for criticism in

17:35
a not yeah is there room for criticism in and in what context so that's

17:41
something to ruminate that's that's what I'm that's the future question yes okay yeah the now question is going back to

17:48
the question about kind of background or whatever do you have experiences where you recognize words that you said that

17:56
you wish you could take back that kind of thing like you know as opposed to the ones you experienc maybe um where I said and I

18:04
could take oh yeah let's see your skeleton smart oh no there' be a number of them you know I I could identify with

18:12
that early you know early marriage frustration Dynamic you know and words I

18:17
said and uh I'll be the other the other transparency so yeah that would be you

18:22
know in relationship with Chris and um I can I can think back um even as a

18:29
teenager there were moments you know when it would might have seemed cool in the moment to you know disparage my

18:36
parents you know or you know yeah that that's that's a tough one because you

18:41
know I can still you know I respect my parents so much to this day now but yet

18:46
you know as a teenager you know it would it you could make a joke of your you

18:52
know your parents and you know I'm just I'm that just kind of gives me the heebie jeebies to to a degree at this

18:58
point think have what Hest and recognize who they are the Rel

19:06
I have with them now and there again I think in some ways that becomes more of a matter of maturity and being able to

19:12
recognize that yeah circumstantially yeah I understand

19:18
it but yeah if you could go back it's like no that that would that would not be an utterance again you know that kind

19:25
of thing which ties right into the maturity that you were saying I I I think the truth of the matter is

19:32
maturity is seeing what I did that didn't work and going oops I won't do that again right so I mean exact some of

19:39
those some some aspects of maturity you don't get any other way than to walk a bad path and go not that one again you

19:45
know yep and uh I wish the learning process I wish you could take that out of the maturity process but I I just

19:52
don't think it's possible to extract it I think yep we learn best from our own mistakes and I and I think I think those

19:59
things and here again I would dare say you know like sarcasm or I would even

20:05
say you know like um uh chauvinism some of those things are

20:11
transgenerational yeah you know to where the maturity didn't quite reach its full

20:16
potential in the previous generation and therefore you WR still use those same words or you say you use words in I'll

20:26
call it a negative yeah Power yeah chauvinism racism sure yeah yeah a lot

20:32
of those things yeah yeah yeah I was also think you know you talking about younger days right right I was thinking

20:39
about one of my formative memories was I used to have you know a really good friend growing up um probably I'm I'm

20:46
going to go with it's somewhere between 8 years old and 15 right somewhere in there remember um but I'm going to lean

20:53
towards the younger where I I used to go to over his house all the time he and he had everything like they lived at they

20:59
had horses and they had like four-wheelers like they just they in my mind they and they had this huge you

21:06
know a billion acres and you know there was no end to what they had kind of

21:12
thing and so in my mind they were kind of invincible okay right and so I don't

21:17
remember any of the words I used I just know that um at one point um her his mom

21:25
called my mom and said I'm not sure Justin can come come over here anymore wow because um he you know he's out I

21:33
and again I don't remember this conversation exactly what she said but is essentially he tears down my son oh

21:40
wow sure and I look back you know I don't again I don't remember the words but I can definitely remember the spirit

21:46
of like no that's not what my goal was my goal was to be at his

21:51
level right like I wanted to be able to be as cool as they were and he was you

21:57
know I got as a result I would say oh that's not cool this is cool or whatever that you know that whole thing that kids

22:04
do um and I just remember her telling me that and just being so embarrassed like

22:10
I got my pants cut down and didn't know it you know what I mean it's like uh cuz I didn't know I was doing it and I

22:17
certainly didn't want to hurt my friend that way I felt really really bad but and I didn't know I was doing it I

22:22
didn't realize the power of my own words you know and so I don't know that was a pretty informative experience to where

22:30
you know I don't yeah like I think I think you know maybe that's one of those

22:38
experiences that kind of triggered me towards like like that approval Dynamic of making sure you know people aren't

22:45
upset with me W sure you know I mean like I want to yeah cuz yeah yeah it's interesting yeah

22:53
but yeah those speaking of going back into the skeletons there nice job boy bring that one out of the CL

22:58
yeah you know yeah that's what we do and I was think well too and I was as as we

23:04
were sharing there I think uh you know I think I think most as a parent let's put

23:10
it that way myself as a parent I would there would definitely be areas well especially a homeschooling parent I can

23:16
remember times where you know I might have got frustrated in a moment and definitely said some things to you know

23:23
John or Lizzy you know that was I wish I could take back but you

23:28
know there again it was in those moments not to justify it but you know in those

23:33
moments of uh frustration I can remember them and the words that you know you

23:38
wish you could you could undo you know and I and it's and that

23:45
being said too I think um it's interesting because you you think about it in a context of

23:53
relationship and there's a there's a there's a 10 to one principle that just comes to mind as I was thinking about

23:58
you know my my uh areas of homeschooling you know and things I've said um you

24:04
know it it's basically 10 roughly it can range between 15 to five depending on

24:11
the research but so that's why they typically go around 10 it takes 10 positive interactions to offset every

24:18
one negative interaction and I think about that in in our culture and you know and how often we use sarcasm and I

24:26
think at times our ratio just gets completely flip-flopped yeah we'll have

24:32
10 sarcastic comments before we even have one that's heartfelt that offers

24:38
encouragement or that kind of thing and I think you know I I can definitely see that at times in couples you know when a

24:45
couple is really in a negative cycle you know and you know thinking back on your

24:50
own relationship you know in those moments when all I'm doing is looking

24:56
for the negative things or the things that I think you do wrong you know it's

25:01
a it's a it's a difficult Dynamic to come out of not that it can't be done but of course you know it's uh it's yeah

25:10
you got to you got to be mindful you got to be you know conscious of the power of words because I do believe you know it's

25:17
like most relationships when they get into that negative cycle if you're not

25:22
able to identify it it's that Power of Words that actually tear the relationship apart yeah yeah you know

25:30
where I just I just don't see the good in you anymore yeah and I'm only seeing what's from my perspective flawed or

25:38
that you do wrong MH you know and if I may can I segueway to the question you

25:45
may that's a perfect thing I I was thinking about it um I thought that's what the 10 to one was well no the the

25:53
10 to one was kind of part of what you it was a combination of what I had done

25:59
in combination with the Redemption yeah that you had mentioned you know because I you know it we are human mhm and we're

26:07
going to make yeah you know yeah you can have a perfect record unfortun ex yeah there is no perfect record in our word

26:14
choices right and I think about that in the context of even as I was sharing as

26:19
a parent you know I'm hopeful MH that you know that

26:25
that those I'm hoping that my the times that my words were used in a negative

26:32
way or a critical way have been offset MH you know by at least however many

26:40
there were multiply that by 10 I hope I had you know the 10 the the zero at the

26:45
end that make that offsets that yeah you know because that that would uh and yet

26:51
I also re you know realize there's you know there's moments where those those

26:57
were like with your your dad those Mo there's moments when those words in combination just stick with me because

27:04
that person you know at that moment was the Authority or I you know I saw that

27:10
person as the authority and it and it makes a difference so that being said um well go

27:17
ahead real quick sure we'll we'll get there yeah yeah um though like you just said sometimes the combination I I think

27:25
there's there's something you know speaking of the power words when those words connect to an like an inner um

27:33
inferiority issue or you know some sort of inner insecurity insecurity yeah when

27:38
when those words connect to that it's like the power that it takes on at that

27:43
point is exponential when I say exponential I mean like it can repeat for years and

27:49
years and years um because it's now confirmed in my mind you know um that

27:55
the thing I had a insecurity about or thing I feared is true yeah not and

28:01
there's and we don't we don't often have the defenses to go but maybe it's not true like nope it's confirmed yeah you

28:08
know and uh yes so I think that that that there that that's part of the power of the words is when they connect to a

28:15
nerve yep you know and I I I agree with that and I think that's where we do need

28:20
to be mindful yeah of the words we use because we don't know right you know

28:26
when those insecure who those insecurities are and it's it's interesting you know the minute you kind

28:33
of shared that you know even in the sessions that sometimes I'll do you know

28:38
it's like I'm I'm I'm honestly trying to be mindful of challenging some patterns

28:47
or cycles that I see and it's funny how often times even to the degree that I

28:53
try to do that in ATT tactful or kind or you know there apeutic manner it's not

28:59
like I'm you know aggressive from my perspective but yet at times just just

29:06
that challenging of that pattern or cycle it can be viewed as he's beating

29:11
me up yeah I don't want to go back there you know and it's like okay you know I mean not intentional but I I I couldn't

29:19
see that pothole to a certain degree and sure enough I drove right over it and

29:25
never even realized it but it wasn't until you know feedback comes back from a a spouse or something later on it's

29:31
like no that was and you know yeah fortunately there again you did the thing I did yeah I did you know and I

29:37
realize sometimes that I I take ownership of that but sometimes that's

29:43
not all mine to own either and I have to those sometimes the words in combination

29:49
but that does bring me back to if you will um a little bit speaking of The Power of

29:56
Words um pet peeve of mine is uh constructive criticism I don't I don't really think

30:03
there is such a thing for me personally so you know you were asking is there a

30:09
is there a moment you know for critique ah you know I mean I I can

30:20
see I think there's let let's let's if I may based on based on the Power of Words

30:26
how you see it this is how I it I think there's a difference between critique

30:32
and criticism MH and I think learning is better than

30:39
critique so if I'm able to help someone learn a different and I don't

30:45
necessarily I don't think I have to tear that person down and granted that's my perception of criticism is kind of

30:52
tearing down and I think learning is that opportunity to build uph and I'm

30:57
able say that differently you know versus you know the difference between here's what I saw and I'm curious what

31:04
your thoughts are versus I noticed you did this MH and I think you you you need

31:11
to change that MH you follow me in that process I you know there again The Power

31:18
of Words it makes me think of the term calling someone up versus tearing them down sure right sure calling them to

31:25
where they they could be should be versus yeah yeah and I don't think

31:31
criticism has to be a part of that mhm mhm to call someone up and granted I

31:39
mean are we going to identify you know certain flaws or certain characteristics

31:44
you know and the way those those flaws tend to you know either hamper what you do or relationship

31:52
sure but I don't you know and I and I guess for me the difference between

31:57
between you know criticism and learning is you know criticism tends to tear

32:05
someone down MH ver versus call them up

32:10
and I don't have to look down or or put somebody down

32:16
to call them up yeah and I and I think that for me that's that's a difference

32:22
and you know it's like you know for a long time I you know it just seemed like well it's constructive criticism it's

32:28
like it's kind of an oxymoron in my perspective you know yeah my uh similar

32:34
pet peeve is the compliment sandwich sure see like compliment right cuz that

32:39
ratio is only two to one yeah I agree it's supposed to be 10 yeah so when it's two to one you're like I know what this

32:46
is all right let's get through this good thing quot give me the second part yeah give me the real stuff all right what

32:52
did I screw up wrap it up with the other good thing mhm yeah yeah feels very

32:57
manufactured yes it does yeah yeah

33:02
um uh I had a whole train of thought and it just disappeared compliment sandwich

33:08
compliment sandwich no criticism I don't think it's going to come until you start talking okay how it works so here's

33:14
here's the deal is if if oh I remember now okay go for it keep it while because

33:20
I got mine no problem you do yeah I'm good well I was just thinking about um Sometimes some of the things that we

33:27
say any here so counter they don't seem correct in the

33:33
sense that they don't line up with just the way things are but that doesn't mean it's not uh it's not possible so in

33:42
other words what you're saying is I don't think criticism is necessary or helpful and yet you know there's a

33:49
multi-million billion dollar industry in criticism right movie critics restaurant

33:54
critics and you know they create a certain you know set of

34:01
circumstances to where the best chefs in the world become recognized you know the best restaurants in the world the

34:07
Michelin stars you know movies you know the Oscars all that kind of stuff

34:13
they're like uh you made it through the gauntlet of criticism you what I mean you're AB above you've made it above our

34:20
level of criticism as professional criticizers almost like um and so like

34:26
it's just it doesn't even seem right when you say I criticisms not acceptable

34:33
right it's like well how do how does one exist then you know without without that and uh but that that doesn't mean I

34:40
don't agre agree with you I'm just kind of thinking it through and I like what you're saying and I think as yeah it's

34:46
kind of like the pride thing right that we talked about where it's like you're like I don't think there's room for

34:52
pride in or whatever you know like whatever that conversation was like but the whole world's built on pride pride

34:58
in your team pride in your nation pride in your children pride in yourself you know uh you know American Dream all

35:05
these things like how do you what you're saying it doesn't make any sense and I feel like um that along with this

35:13
is kind of ties into why uh like God's

35:18
kingdom is upside down sure right yeah where the things that work in this world

35:24
don't work in that one and the first is the last and lastes first you know some

35:30
of the some of those things that you challenge that seem unrealistic I think are the actual status quo in God's

35:38
kingdom you know what I mean yeah and I think about it sometimes when you as you're saying that I think you

35:44
know to me that that culture of critique or culture of criticism it's like I

35:53
think about if somebody were to you know uh uh inspector you know me at just

36:01
certain moments you know i' I'd fail that as well right you know a moment a

36:07
moment in time a One Moment In Time doesn't necessarily Define an entire

36:13
career or an entire thing right for from my perspective you know and I think you

36:19
know there are people can have a bad day yeah and people and unfortunately that people rise and fall yeah you know

36:26
there's real people in involved in that you know when a restaurant is critiqued you know that kind of thing and it's

36:32
just you know and yet you think of the ones that Rose the top is like they they

36:37
climbed over this pile of criticism to get to the top you know the resilience

36:43
they had or whatever and I also feel like they probably got a fair share of baggage you like yeah yeah yeah no it's

36:51
just it's just interesting to think about and in that process you know I

36:56
there again words build up and words tear down and I think you know even in

37:04
yeah yeah and I think uh speaking of what yeah go ahead the kingdom uh think

37:10
about Jesus and before he died he told Peter just by the way you are going to

37:17
deny me before the end of the night three three whole times you know yeah Peter is just appalled like of course I

37:24
would never I'm your best guy like you know and uh obviously Peter didn't anticipate

37:30
the circumstances coming yeah to where it completely threw him off his game to like where you said he had a bad day

37:37
yeah and he kind of lost some of who he was and you know what he believed in and he was shaken you know and I can I think

37:44
it's important I think we can villainize him in those moments but I think it's way better to empathize with him go H

37:51
have I you know kind of anyway he he he denied him three times when Jesus you know in his dire moments or whatever and

37:57
then later you know when Jesus rose from the dead and they're having a

38:03
conversation I love the conversation they had because he didn't say remember that time you know like what's wrong

38:10
with you you know that was wrong or whatever and instead he just said like Peter do you love me said of course I do

38:17
okay then feed my sheep it's like and he repeated that three times to where Peter was becoming defensive like what are you

38:23
trying to say and you know he was basically calling him up up and it wasn't a critique of what he did or who

38:30
he was but it was saying let's move forward from this yeah and he you know he didn't have to do the critique he

38:37
didn't agre which is like how did he do that you know and I I like what you're saying about um learning and calling you

38:45
know calling people up that is a skill I desire to get

38:52
better at I hear you and I think we can all improve and I as I was think think

38:57
about um as you describe you know that

39:04
circumstance what do you what do you think Peter felt in those

39:11
moments well humility I think you know like embarrassment is maybe a better

39:17
answer yeah I think you know all of that confusion disappointment yeah which

39:23
moments I guess where yeah and I and I think from my perspective that is where the Power of Words come

39:31
into play right because someone's at their most vulnerable yes that's when

39:38
yeah and we can empathize with all of that yeah and recognize it makes perfect

39:43
sense and we don't have to criticize someone about that we're just able

39:50
to from our own human standpoint recognize Shucks I've been embarrassed

39:56
too and there's a big difference between being embarrassed and being sad you know and I think you know that's where the

40:03
Power of Words come into play in a lot of cases because there is a difference between being embarrassed and sad and

40:11
disappointed and humiliated and and I think that's where I think for Chris you

40:17
know that's where a lot of that comes from is the right word at the right time

40:24
to discern I mean to uh Define the right circumstance is a powerful thing yes you

40:31
know and I think that's what makes I think that's what makes good writing so

40:36
difficult is that moment where I want to say it a certain way and I just can't

40:43
come up with the right word but when I do come up with the right word it's like aha yeah that's the word and as um as

40:51
I'm thinking about that if you had to this is this is a little bit of a trick

40:56
question but if you had to think about three

41:02
words for you that you know really are important

41:11
ones I realized this is a on the spot question well you know what's super weird is you said three words uhhuh and

41:19
immediately three words popped into my mind okay cool from a verse yeah yeah so

41:24
I'll share that even though I don't know I don't know if that's yeah I was just answer I would give three words it's

41:31
very interesting that they popped in my mind so what are those words power love and a sound mind that's two words the

41:37
last one but that's what came to my mind power love Yeah and a sound mind

41:45
well here anal here's a challenge yeah okay sound mind can you put that

41:50
together in one word can you think sanity ah see there you go yes nice job

41:56
power of word words yeah yeah so power love and Sanity yeah

42:02
yeah that's good and yeah it wasn't a it wasn't a psychoanalytical moment but I

42:08
was uh I was thinking of please sorry and thanks nice you know those are good

42:13
words you know just yeah those those yeah again the words the words that came

42:20
to my mind I don't know why they they they don't really tie to it but yeah I like we can uh unwrap that power that

42:29
that just power uh yeah exactly the power words power love and and Sanity or

42:34
sound mind yeah yeah all right users please thank you and what sorry sorry

42:40
yeah yeah yeah those are that that's that's your tool belt right there well some powerful words yeah and I think you

42:48
know here again I want to recognize there's a big difference between words

42:56
and vocabulary mhm you follow me I think we can have a tremendous vocabulary and know a lot of

43:03
words but if we're not using them in a manner that you know builds people up

43:10
yeah or you know yeah cuz yeah it's not the power of vocabulary exactly that's a different talk and yet we can respect

43:17
you know people who you know we listen to who you know it's like uh if you didn't have context you'd have a hard

43:24
time and sometimes even with the context you'd have a hard time was that word again I need to look that up yeah yeah

43:30
and I respect that yeah but you know that in itself vocabulary we're not talking about like you said the V power

43:36
of vocabulary but the Power of Words and I think you know yeah yeah just thought of a word I

43:44
looked up the other day yeah yeah what was it you know what importunity do you know what that means o I would say it's

43:51
an important moment no it's IM import or importune not not

43:58
inun it okay go for so it's not have anything to do with

44:04
opportunity got any other guesses you don't have uh tunity uh I'm thinking of

44:10
like like a con like a unifying and but that's that's just a

44:16
word you know that's just import importunity or uh to importune is to

44:23
basically um continue to ask a thing to where it becomes annoying oh okay so the

44:31
importunity of someone is someone annoying you to the kind of like

44:37
persistent Widow right yes yes adium yeah yeah ah cool so the persistent what

44:44
so it's another word for persistence yeah but negative context

44:50
from the hearer's perspective sure like it's that's that's one of my favorite things about vocab

44:57
right it's like you have to say all these words to make this one word right right um so if you pick the right word

45:02
it really conveys some really important Nuance which I think is cool but like it's this idea that maybe it's annoying

45:09
to the hear but maybe it's valuable mhm what's you know kind of like the persistent Widow like what's being

45:15
nagging comes to mind but not but nagging is only negative and you think of the person doing the nagging is a

45:21
nagger like it's not an it's almost has this context of but they isting a thing

45:27
that maybe should be sure I hear you yeah it's important to the persistent person but yet the person hearing yeah

45:36
might not yeah nagging doesn't it doesn't I got yeah there's there's a

45:41
reason there's that word that's right and also I could be uh misremembering what I looked up it could be you know

45:48
but that was kind of I liked that's your little vocabulary lesson for the day power of uh Power

45:55
love and sound mind importunity brought to you by a sound mind yes if you

46:02
will um thinking about the Power of Words MH

46:09
okay what would be some of the what would be your

46:18
encouragement to someone as far as being able to

46:24
implement or being mindful of of that power when you think of power love I'm

46:31
thinking of Power of Words well they're yeah go ahead there's different

46:37
audiences for that M right so

46:43
there's one audience would be those who just you know kind of lack the

46:48
selfesteem the the to understand the power of their words and so they just fling them out all over the place right

46:56
yep and to the degree where they've kind of lost some of the

47:01
power of their words right they're always cussing they're always you know whatever complaining they're always

47:08
whatever or they when you say they've lost the power words help me understand that yeah let me I will one sec and or

47:15
they' lost they they're dramatic right so they they're always over describing

47:21
over drama a good word for always they always do it exactly those dramatic

47:28
people nice wait way to call me out no but you get the point so like there's

47:34
different perspectives of like but I think what I mean by loss The Power of Words is that essentially it's kind of

47:40
the boy who cried wolf syndrome where uh those words become less potent because

47:45
they are maybe not as uh synced with the truth sure or you

47:53
know or they're overused to the where they're dull you

47:58
yeah and they're maybe not believed where you know the wolf did eventually come and it was a true saying that that

48:07
there's a wolf at that point those words were so dull that they were ignored no

48:12
you know what I mean so those the power of those words were gone y from that boy right yeah I like I yeah know I like

48:20
what you're saying because I think you know the in the in in our lives we can

48:25
you know use too many words to crassly yeah you know and there may come a

48:31
moment when we want to be able to speak to a situation and we no longer have a

48:39
authority to do so not the authorities but you know what I'm saying we a credibility yeah we've lost

48:46
credibility and I yeah and I think I think that from my perspective that becomes a lot of what sarcasm can be mhm

48:53
because I'll say something you know it's like and it's it's typically right on that edge but yet there's that part of

49:00
it that comes back and says well was that really a compliment or was that a backhanded yeah yeah one of the big

49:08
problems with sarcasm is it creates callous right sure right so it's like

49:13
there may be truth in there but I'm ignoring it like you're just doing your your thing you know your sarcastic thing

49:19
yeah yeah um but yeah I I think but I no matter the audience right whether it's

49:25
that person or someone who you know is critical Justin you know like kind of like yeah uh or it's

49:33
someone who just doesn't believe in the power of their words sure um I think for

49:41
any of that those categories the encouragement to try the 10 to one thing is going to be a good sure good thing

49:48
right like yeah let's say you don't use your words much you don't believe your words have much value and you don't you

49:54
know what I mean like you just don't feel heard or whatever well start why don't you try starting to call out some

49:59
good stuff around you yeah you know doesn't have to be about a particular person even can be like wow I can't

50:05
believe how nice it is today or like it's a little humid but I really enjoy this kind of weather like just some

50:10
positive things or like wow your truck looks really nice today did you clean it by hand or something like how'd you get

50:17
you know whatever or like you know if if it's a cooworker being like your Hammer

50:23
swing looks amazing today

50:28
I think you find yourself pretty surprised at the impact those statements can make yeah and the power right yeah

50:36
definitely and I think that for me when you're saying you know off and on of course that scripture of do you not know

50:42
that the power of life and death are in the tongue you know and I and I think

50:47
you know as a culture at times we've lost sight of that yeah that you know like you're were saying you know calling

50:53
people up versus you know tearing them down I I think that's the difference between the power of life and death

50:59
that's in the tongue and you know I think we can do that with our kids I think we can do that with the relationships you know in general it's

51:07
you know I think we can do that even where you know where our you know health and you know and Welfare is you know to

51:15
speak blessing yeah you know is I think you know that's that's the I think

51:23
there's so much of our world that we

51:28
don't know you know to the point of the Power of Words is one of those things and I

51:35
think you know in a in a created world that was spoken to existence by The

51:40
Power of Words I think you know the words we use in this world still have a

51:48
a a resonating power if you will to change circumstances and and bring life versus

51:57
tear down and so it's just kind of a yeah I think that's just the way the

52:03
world is designed when we want to speak that way yep yeah yeah the Bible says we

52:10
are created in God's image right sure so that's certainly an aspect where I like how you described that because that

52:16
Resonance of His Image in the power of our words sure to create or destroy yeah

52:22
you know yeah that's that's pretty yeah Power of Words yes indeed that is a good

52:30
topic Chris yes it was yes and speaking of words Chris you're awesome you go

52:36
you're also Awesome with words yes I mean there's no surprise that that came

52:42
from Chris that's right yeah because yeah she definitely is a a writer and someone who I value and the ab her

52:49
ability to think about what she will say before I've learned I've learned she's

52:54
taught me you know yeah Al also she's the Genesis of the the Marxism like like

53:01
her her uh calling you up to using better words is kind of where this whole

53:09
conversation about Marcus came you've been there for some hear you mean you know it's

53:14
like what what it means to me is it's Mark yeah that's what it means but yeah

53:21
so it's it's a very appropriate yes so thank you Chris yes

53:28
thank you Justin and that's how we see [Music]

53:35
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