0:04
ah let me know if you need I tend to I tend to be mellow my track I keep my

0:12
track mellow yeah yeah your mellow track my mellow track it's like a soda

0:18
yeah mow yeah Mellow Yellow yeah we played a

0:23
game the other night Chris got a neat game um it basically there's a there's a

0:29
bunch of letters around and you get a topic like you know uh female names and

0:35
then you have to go around and each person has 10 seconds to think of a one there's letters that aren't there but

0:41
you know ABC right around and so uh yeah there were uh sodas names of sodas came to mind it's

0:48
pretty you know I was going way back there you know Fanta and you know just some of that still is a things it it is

0:55
but I I think about I haven't sure maybe I had some like over uh over the

1:00
holidays but I think I've been like three or four years without drinking a soda really this far yeah I mean

1:06
intentionally you know just like drinking a whole soda we I think we had some ginger ale you know and a Punchy

1:11
stuff but yeah before that well like you say it's just been uh I haven't missed

1:17
it yeah yeah if if it's a that's a good one to avoid if you can yeah I think so

1:23
yeah but so yeah but it made me think about it it's like man yeah going way back did you come up with any other

1:29
names that or oh well like you say the Mellow Yellow the Mountain Dew you know all those uh Dr uh Mr pib Mr pib yeah

1:38
yeah which I don't think Mellow Yellow is a thing anymore it became oh did it

1:43
become something else Sundrop no it became something else and now I think

1:49
it's called star really yeah I had no clue Sierra

1:54
missed really now see really uh I don't know I thought cuz Days of Thunder you

1:59
remember days a thunder he drove the Mellow Yellow car yeah yeah but I mean Mellow Yellow is not a thing anymore no

2:05
I don't remember that you don't okay Tom Cruz movie okay sorry might I actually never saw that movie oh I think that was

2:12
that was I think that was like when he first met Nicole Kidman maybe even okay being on the scenes of Mello yell or

2:19
Days of Thunder yeah I'm not recommending it necessarily as a movie to watch but yeah made me think of it

2:26
yeah little flashback for some of some some of the folks from generation Days of Thunder

2:33
[Music]

2:39
yep welcome to how I see it with me Mark Pratt and Justin Sternberg this is a

2:46
podcast that works to countercultural polarization through thoughtful

2:53
[Music] conversations yeah so uh speaking of

2:59
days of of Thunder yeah it's about to be the new year it

3:05
is yes it is 2024 yes 2024 those years they just keep

3:13
rolling they do you know it's kind of fun yeah yeah do you remember y 2K oh

3:19
well I was just thinking about that John is actually the same age as the year cuz

3:26
he was he was a y 2K baby yeah his uh his well he's uh his birthday will be

3:31
tomorrow nice so there's basically three days three days out of the year that his

3:37
you know chronological age doesn't match the year so there's three days in 23

3:43
that he'll be 24 man that makes it too easy how old are you what year is it yeah and the funny part of that is he's

3:50
he's 30 years I'm 30 years older than him so it matches up with mine as well oh okay so I'm 54 and 24 wow yeah so

4:00
that's pretty handy I would like to have a trick like that I don't know I was born in 83 that really not a great you

4:07
were born the year my brother brother graduated from high school that's why yeah that's that's

4:14
that's that's exactly why you so just ask him what reunion he's on that's how old you are there you go yeah now you

4:21
have something to 41st yeah so you just had a good one probably he might have

4:26
maybe do they do 40 year I don't know I'm sure they do I've never he went back to Troy and like spoke at the you know

4:32
CL the graduating class reunion 4 yeah I think so something like that nice very

4:39
nice because they do the you know the 83 the 93 you know there's a spokesman from

4:44
each class that kind of speaks yeah that's cool

4:49
yeah Days of Thunder excuse me Days of Thunder so yeah 2024 the Days of Thunder yes I do

4:57
remember y 2K okay they answer your question we were uh Chris and I were at

5:03
the CU that the hospital having John we were well John had been born on the 28th

5:08
wow yeah so as of the 31st basically we had the option it's like do we go home

5:17
you know and brave it out just away from everybody because you know the hospital

5:23
is kind of in town in the city if you will city of Elmyra and it's like you know well elra

5:30
elvir that was but yeah uh either way yeah you know do we do we stick it out here in the city in the hospital where

5:37
you know if things shut down the generators you know are going to kick on and you know we can ride it out a little

5:44
bit but maybe everyone's computers in the hospitals fried you know yeah and then you know all all Anarchy going to

5:51
break out in the big city so yeah we went home and uh braved it out there but it was you know yeah but I remember I

5:58
remember the anxiety of sorts that kind of went along with that you know the computers are going to shut down when

6:05
they go to 00 yeah yeah you know what's funny about that is

6:11
how Fe I mean I was young so I guess I didn't have a good maybe a great

6:16
perspective on it but it seemed like literally no one knew if it would going to mess up or not right yeah that was

6:22
the whole question yeah and I remember scary what are our computers going to do

6:28
I don't know ask the programmer I don't know I wasn't there you know it was that it was that conflict between Cobalt and

6:34
you know and these other you know programs it's like yeah I remember that and Larry brette I remember him you know

6:40
he was a big proponent that the whole financial systems would shut down and okay yeah and they didn't but like you

6:47
say I think I give him credit I think there was a lot of people I'm not sure it made all that difference but I think

6:53
there was a lot of people that were proactive about it that probably helped in some ways that we may not may never

6:59
know of but yeah that Mak interesting movie guy who prevented y to gay there

7:06
you go you yeah but I think in that in that context um we're now Y2K 24 there

7:13
you go in that context when you think about

7:19
preventative you know things or planning for the future or yeah in that process

7:26
of 2024 planning with the end of mind sometimes as we uh as we talk about what

7:32
comes to mind for you what about you

7:38
mark yeah I'll be honest and say I uh I've been real focused just on getting

7:44
some side work done and okay my my mind has been very occupied for the last You'

7:49
been very present yeah yeah that's a good way to put it just one just doing

7:55
the next thing that's right yep yeah y having really had opportunity to reflect

8:01
in that way but I'm glad we're talking about it cuz I I I I enjoy that part

8:06
right sure is that something you would routinely do I mean is this year a little different for you in that context

8:13
um I was never I was never like a flip the year over and have all the pl like

8:19
for me January was kind of the huh it's January it's time you know it's kind of

8:25
like kicked off those thoughts more than more than kind of in into the new year

8:30
with so but yeah typically I think one of the things we've done you know Megan

8:37
and I and you know through the years have kind of chosen a word for the year

8:44
which you know kind of tries to set up kind of a kind of a mental mindset for

8:49
the year I guess I think is a good way to put it and I like doing that um but yeah as far

8:56
as I also not I I I have a a blog post actually and we probably talk about it a

9:03
lot of times I'm not a huge fan of specific goals sure as much as I um

9:08
desire to have like long-term goals that you know can't necessarily be met in a year um that but I've also kind of

9:16
vasculated on that I think goals are good I I don't think I think it's silly to say they're bad but I think they can be tyrannic Ty tyranical sure if if not

9:26
um held Loosely so not definitely not a resolutions guy nope no never been a

9:33
resolutions guy I understand you know I thought that would be you know like yeah

9:38
I I think it turned out okay not being res resolutions guy like I don't I don't feel like I missed out on I think so

9:44
opportunities but um but yeah how about you well I was thinking you you mentioned uh you mentioned vacillation

9:50
you know and so then I tend to think of those you know was we've talked about before the love Styles yeah you know and

9:58
you know that first stage is you know um Stress Management we have those Styles

10:03
because we you know have a certain stress and we adapt but the second stage

10:08
of that is uh self and others awareness and I think that's what um

10:16
what my next year you know is about for me thinking about my

10:22
self-awareness not in a not in a way that makes it selfish not in a way that

10:28
I'm selfishly focused but ways in which I desire to grow in the ne in the coming

10:36
year and I think part of that growth is that ability to know myself a little

10:41
better as I age that kind of thing and I think for me sometimes the you know what

10:49
I think about for what I'm thinking about now for 2024 in some ways are the things that I

10:56
didn't get done in 2023 you know they kind of roll those things over but yet

11:03
I'm also growing in a make your self awareness still haven't gotten it yeah exactly just ways that's that's a part

11:10
of it yeah continuing to grow in self-awareness and I think um I think

11:16
part of it for me is maybe even in some ways um pulling back not I'm I'm still

11:25
rustling with this but um I think at

11:30
times um there's something to be said for being forthright and having you know

11:36
just addressing the issue and you know and in my line of

11:42
work I routinely do that you know with people in such a way that is rather

11:49
forthright and I can probably stand to kind of pull that back just a little bit

11:56
really yeah I'm I'm thinking about that I think it's more so with my family you

12:01
know because I've definitely you know just plotted right ahead into a

12:08
difficult topic and I probably could have used a little more tact you know I probably could have used a little

12:15
more I could have done it more gracefully that kind of thing and I think you know especially you know with

12:22
my with with Lizzy and and Chris you know they're just a you know a little

12:28
more on the softer side which is good but yeah I just need to be CU sometimes

12:35
I'm I I know Chris is fully aware you know she has self-awareness and yet sometimes I see

12:42
that and I might address something in a forthright manner that makes it seem as if I'm being critical of her yeah even

12:51
though I know she's aware and she might be aware that I'm aware but it's not

12:57
something that I need to NE necessarily you know say hey what are you thinking about this you know or what do you want

13:04
to do about that or you know that kind of thing so that's a part of it for 2024 yeah

13:11
yeah that makes sense growing in that and I think there's a part of it too um and I think I think from my perspective

13:21
um how I view the aging process is also changing my 2024 you know know as far as

13:30
um thinking about changing up some some of my exercise habits you know

13:35
kind of areas that I need to focus a little more on you know maybe a little less running that just kind of you know

13:42
it's not like kind of tears down the body yeah it's not like I need to drop you know lose calories I'm not burning

13:48
calories I need to hold muscle maybe a little more you know yeah as I'm growing I mean granted it's a it's a it's a

13:55
balance it is type thing but I am that that is something that I'm aware of um

14:01
and in that process I'm thinking about my uh my spiritual aspects of still

14:07
wrestling with that what I do in my strength versus how I wait on God in

14:14
some ways that's another component for me as far as and maybe it's still out of

14:19
that awareness piece that I'm recognizing okay these things are far bigger than I am and how do I kind of

14:27
pull back because I think there is that age that a part of the aging process has helped me recognize that my energy isn't

14:34
sufficient yeah you know and it just tends to wear my body down trying to

14:41
think that way yeah you know it's feudal yeah much like scripture talks about but you know and then I think you know

14:47
there's just I'm uh I think with my parents you know I'm more mindful of

14:55
like end of life type Dynamics you know and I I think in in some ways uh you when you mentioned the um the the word

15:03
of the year you know my word of the Year type thing um I'm wrestling not

15:09
wrestling but um part of mine is that ability

15:14
to confidence isn't the right word and but yet it's an aspect

15:23
of recognizing that I need to be mindful

15:29
of what I'm doing because I respect the fact that my in other words for an example I'm just thinking of different

15:36
people that I pray for who have fallen you know in their and I and I tend to

15:41
think about that now because it's like I used to be able to stand on a six- foot step ladder 8 foot you know on the very

15:47
top and reach something you know but I just realized I've I've noticed that my balance isn't the same as it used to be

15:55
you know to where that's that's foolish for me well it was foolish then clarification it was foolish then but I

16:02
could do it yes because my body was able but it's like now it's like people say

16:07
I'm a functioning drunk or functioning alcoholic like well yeah maybe yeah but

16:13
I think you know so that those are the things that I'm a little more aware of what my body can and can't do or isn't

16:21
you know as able to do as it used to and just being able to admit that and then

16:27
adjust m in such a way that continues to you know say okay it's it's okay to

16:35
amend it's okay to adjust and yet we can still have a you know God confidence

16:42
that I don't have to pull back in a fearful State I guess is that's that's

16:48
kind of the difference it's like helping me recognize what

16:55
is real yeah what is

17:00
still looking for that word so well yeah it's kind of like the Golden Goose

17:05
analogy where you could keep you know like right now the you know as you've

17:11
lived like the the golden eggs keep popping out kind of for free and now it's like well if I do certain things I

17:18
might cook the Golden Goose I got to be careful about you know so it's more like I know it's like a perspective on

17:24
longevity yeah it's a good word that is a good word you're free to use it if you I I appreciate that this idea of like

17:31
confidence not it's not losing confidence but it's like adjusting what you're confident in for the purposes of

17:38
longevity yeah even no offense I don't think that's quite the word yet I see I

17:43
see the questioning in your own eyes you know as you think about it but yeah that's it's the word

17:49
Mark I'm hearing a voice inside my head that says that's the

17:54
word that's the word uh anyway yeah that's all but kind of all the things

17:59
you said seem to be geared towards how can I adjust right yeah towards kind of

18:05
longevity like being being able to do what you're doing but at an adjusted level that says I can keep doing yeah

18:12
yeah running is a good one cuz I feel like uh it makes me think of Megan's dad

18:17
who um I want to say maybe 10 10 years ago or so he was running like 13 miles a

18:23
day sure and he just he loved it like he he was just I mean you talk about Runner

18:29
High I think I think he was high all the time 13 miles a day um but it destroyed

18:35
his knees okay and he can't run now so you know he does other things but um

18:41
yeah it's it's running is one of things those things that's kind I feel like it's kind of a young man's game yeah

18:48
just my perspective on people who are Runners and then they end up having bad knees bad so many think hips bad hips

18:54
and I hear kind of say you know I shouldn't have pushed you know run as much

19:00
I don't know granted I'm not in that I'm not in that category but like you say a three four mile is fine with me but you

19:06
know yeah yeah and yeah I that's that's part of that it's like okay what is

19:13
enough yeah and granted I'm aware you know like when we play Frisbee you know you're out there on a grass You Know

19:19
Field you know it's far different than you know running on Madam or you know stuff like that pavement you know that

19:26
does kind of and on the joints yeah so

19:31
yeah yeah I like to save my running for frisbee

19:37
so I hear you preserve it all to try and catch John as much as I

19:43
can no offense good luck with that I haven't had much that is one

19:50
thing I gave up on a few years ago yeah yeah boy don't stop

19:55
[Music] running it's just so easy for him to run fast that's the yeah yeah that's the

20:02
beauty of it not just run fast I mean he he just like has this natural springy Mo

20:10
like motion you know what I mean where I don't know yeah it was uh it was fun we

20:15
did uh actually good Christmas memory we played some flag football oh wow yeah

20:20
and uh they were they were over over Christmas well prior to the weekend before Christmas but uh yeah it was good

20:27
I'm busting on John just a little bit I think uh you know cuz he would the minute we'd get the football on our end

20:33
he'd fly up the field but fortunately for me we were playing flag football yeah so if I timed it just right I could

20:41
swivel my hip enough to move the flag and he would go flying right on by and then you know then it was far you know

20:47
the rest of my family members were a little more evenly you know even physical ability you know so once I got

20:54
by John it was like okay I'm I'm much better off now but yeah the timing was

20:59
everything yeah yeah but there was a I think I I think I pretty sure I had the

21:04
uh uh he had missed my Flags more times than he got it on that kickoff return type stuff well done well done yeah they

21:11
were bust on me cuz I was stretching out later it's like well hey you know those hip flexors I can still stretch them but

21:18
you know it's all that movement you got to be able to do with those flags but yeah that was fun but yeah that's

21:24
awesome fun times so which side of the family was that with that was uh that was my mom's side of the family okay

21:30
cool yep yeah yep that was when we went up to Pennsylvania nice be able to yeah

21:36
last time I played blackag football I did that to my finger that that crooked uh ring finger finger crooked ring

21:42
finger yeah yeah y that was with Jenny Klein's family she would oh wow be she

21:47
would be very appalled to know I I said called her out on that but it wasn't

21:53
their fault that was just a like a bad like a tackle and then like I jammed my

21:58
got to jam my finger but it stayed permanently like that wow yeah so flag football you know it's supposed to be

22:04
the Tamer one but sometimes I don't know about that yeah my family tends to be a

22:09
little more competitive anyway so that's a tame tame tame competition isn't but

22:15
yeah it is far better than being tackled yeah no doubt I could just imagine how

22:20
much that would hurt yeah yeah did go ahead yeah I did Dick out the neighbor's

22:25
fence by accident that was their little garden fence but they didn't need that right yeah we we got it straight back

22:31
down it was one of those little rabbit fences oh nice and I was running down or on that side to to get John's flag and

22:40
yeah I got I saw the fence but then I didn't see the bricks they had a little brick pavers at the edge of it well no I

22:47
didn't it wasn't bad but what the funny part was I stepped on one of those brick pavers and it slid oh so then it's like

22:54
I couldn't quite stop so then I couldn't catch my balance and then I fell onto the so it really wasn't a big deal I

23:00
didn't like full on run into the fence if I hadn't slipped I could have avoided it but didn't see those bricks under

23:06
underneath the grass and way it went sound like it would hurt the way you described it you I just kind of fell

23:12
onto it yeah yeah it looked it looked a little more yeah hurtful than it was I got you

23:19
yeah well good job not getting hurt yeah see that's where I'm at so I'm at this point of you know finding that balance

23:25
of uh yeah how much effort to put in and yeah not getting hurt yeah not getting

23:30
hurt yeah longevity do planning with the end in mind continuing to maintain you

23:36
know healthy physical and I think I it's funny because as we as you and I talk

23:42
you know it's like I I find myself kind of stepping into that old person

23:48
perspective but it's it's funny because as I think about it you know it's fun to

23:54
think about the different stages and you know even with like frisbee you know we're interacting with 20s somethings 30

24:02
somethings 40 somethings you know I'm in the 50s somethings and you know it's it's fun

24:09
just to kind of observe that it's just fun to observe that difference you know

24:16
in people you know it's just yeah that's

24:21
that's it's fun to watch yeah yeah yeah and that it's it's it's funny

24:28
because we that's that will be a future topic we'll we'll foreshadow here just a little bit we uh we have some

24:34
generational plans in the future so that's a that's a good way to think about it the the the pros and cons if

24:41
you will yeah of yeah it would be a dangerous thing I don't know if it'

24:47
would be a dangerous thing but it would be a interesting thing to have well it would be a dangerous to have a

24:53
20-year-old you know mind and a 50y old body h M you know what I'm saying

24:59
because it's like your your 50 your 40y old body doesn't run the same as it did

25:05
when it was a 20-year- old body y you know and that's just yeah yeah yeah it

25:11
was CU that that was funny cuz my dad we went he he had Christmas you know with us and it was funny cuz he took about a

25:18
two-hour nap the same as my niece yeah let's see my niece's daughter you know who's you know uh she's probably four

25:27
three or four yeah took a 2-hour nap that day too and my dad took a 2hour nap at the same time it's like yep okay

25:34
that's what happens about that time you know yeah that's who we should have on your dad and your niece

25:41
yeah the niece the niece's daughter with through might you know be a little tough but yeah it would be that's what we do

25:49
need to do is do that you know pull out a pull a 20s something in a you know

25:55
octenal you know octogenarian yeah octogenarian you know it just kind

26:03
of walk that difference that should be your word of the [Music] year I'm still working on

26:11
goals speaking of you deciding my goals for me yes so what is the benefit or maybe even

26:19
if you can think of detractions or you know bad I guess bad sides to kind of

26:25
this annual cycle and US kind of doing our our look on things in the beginning

26:32
of Jan you know beginning of the year um what are some of the pros and cons to that you

26:38
think I think I think part of the pros is you know a new year is a new

26:45
opportunity you know not that every day isn't a new opportunity you know yeah

26:51
each day is new his Mercy is new each and every day you know that kind of

26:56
thing and I think you know in that context even even with CR you

27:01
know it's not about you know 5 days from now it's about what I do in the next 5

27:08
Seconds five minutes you know that kind of thing so one day at a time one moment at a time exactly and I think you know

27:16
each day is a new moment yeah you know where we can and I think that you know

27:24
there's a similar Dynamic where years are concerned you know I can have an awareness of what last year looked like

27:32
generally and yet I can still think about it in this context of you know well what do I want this year to be you

27:39
know how do I want this year to be different and I I was uh reading a like

27:44
um it was kind of like a

27:50
small personal Retreat type information you know as you as it thought about you know and and it was asking about you

27:56
know what the dis appointments of the last year were and you know how they affected you you know and what were the

28:02
wins of the last year and you know and what can you take away from that and I

28:08
think you know when we look at circumstances in the context of a year we can recognize how you

28:15
know there were certain hurts of last year you know and some of those we can

28:23
probably avoid some of which we can avoid and some of those were unavoidable mhm

28:28
you know those aspects that have changed us and you know and I and I there's that

28:33
part of me that would say you know um just kind of my mom's death and you know

28:39
working with my dad in his process you know that that has probably hit me a

28:44
little harder you know than I would have prior to just because of that longevity

28:50
perspective it's like yeah nobody's guaranteed tomorrow mhm you know I've know but I think it was a reminder for

28:57
me yeah from that era you know I definitely felt that more you know in years I've

29:03
been three years with you know since the the the blood clot type stuff but that was a that was a wakeup call then and I

29:10
think you know it's a further wakeup call and I think you know each each year

29:15
is new and to be able to look back and you know see where we've come from you

29:22
know what is what has happened yeah and how that has changed my perspective and

29:28
and is that change healthy you know is it is it something

29:35
that I need to challenge or is it something that's beneficial and it's actually wisdom and I can I can grow in

29:43
that and I think that's the the thing that makes it beneficial you know

29:49
whether I'm 20 30 40 you know 80 90 you know to be able to say okay what can

29:56
because I think a lot of it does come back to that kind of open-mindedness type thing yeah so often we get fixed in

30:06
doing the same thing the same way day after day and those become you know

30:12
habits and ruts and or injury points yeah when our abilities slow down yeah

30:19
yeah just just kind of that ability to be able to say okay you know who do I

30:26
need to be listening to Who Do I need to not listen to anymore or you know just

30:31
in that in that process of you know kind of those both the benefits the pros and

30:37
cons if you will yeah yeah I think yeah I like I like what you're saying I you

30:43
know Celebrate Recovery you know really pushes the the daily you know one day at

30:48
a time um and they have you in specifically in regards to inventory

30:55
which is very similar to what we're talking about with the annual turnover and what you what what we do often or

31:01
should be doing um I don't know that it's um always pushed as much as the looking

31:07
you know like the resolutions as much as hey what about last year how did that

31:12
you know sure how would you sum that up and I think that's reflect reflection is important and I think this is a good

31:18
opportunity for that yep um anyway what I was going to say is CR kind of taught me the value of the daily and weekly you

31:26
know inventory and kind of that process MH to where I've gained more in the last 10

31:34
years of really focusing on that um you know what I mean than than

31:42
you know kind of the the old style of like oh the years turning over I guess I should think about this again you know

31:48
what I mean like I just don't think that's enough if you really want to see real change or real growth yep I think

31:54
you need something that's daily and weekly and yeah you know um you know we

31:59
talk a lot about kind of quiet time reading time with God that kind of thing and I think that's an important time of

32:04
the day one moment of time one day at a time to kind of reflect on the day and um but yeah all that being said I do

32:11
think there's value in the annual aspect for what you are saying is essentially the ability to zoom out a little bit in

32:18
the daily and weekly like you you can't necessarily zoom out to that level um if

32:26
unless for some you have this special ability to kind of keep a rolling year you know I mean and you can

32:33
but even then but I do think there there is that context of you know as we talk

32:38
about a daily quiet time I think the first of the year is a good way to kind of look at okay God here's the next year

32:45
kind of in the context of what do you have for me today what do you have for me this year in that context of yeah

32:53
yeah I may I may be able to accomplish these things but yet there's probably some things that I won't be able to

32:59
accomplish and that'll still be 2025 you know should the Lord carry that kind of thing have you heard that saying

33:06
um we underestimate what we can accomplish in 5 years or overestimate overestimate what we can accomplish in

33:11
one year and underestimate what we can accomplish in 5 years yep um I almost wonder you know if we should be doing

33:17
that more too right the fiveyear planning yep to be able to say you know

33:24
here's my desire for in 5 years and here's maybe what this year will look like in terms of accomplishing that but

33:30
it's not make or break on the year turn exactly whether you know cuz you're living bigger than that right and I

33:36
think I think that would be a cool you know effort cool kind of cool

33:43
thing to push is this idea rather than simply focusing on year rather spend

33:48
that effort on the fiveyear every year I gotta right so instead of it being an annual thing

33:54
every year it's a it's a rolling fiveyear review and the thing I like

33:59
about that Dynamic is it it I'm not even concerned so much about the five year in

34:07
the context as long as I'm faithful each year I think at the end of five years I

34:13
might be able to look back and say wow look at what God has done in that process because I think you know yeah we

34:20
we do tend to think well I can do this and this and this and maybe I don't get all four of those things done but if I

34:26
get three of those and you know and something else that just kind of came along and I look back at the end of five

34:33
years that's give or take 20 things you know that have been you know done and yeah yeah and

34:40
some things are fiveyear things you know like I want to become a public speaker

34:45
you know like I want to become better at public speaking y I think again often we'll overestimate yeah I can figure

34:52
that out in one year like I can just whatever and I think that would be a realistic 5year thing to say how did

34:58
this year push me towards that you know and because if in order to become what I

35:03
would call good I think it is a 5year process you're not going to become a good public speaker in one year you know you replace public speaker with many

35:11
many things right well and I think part of that too you when you think about you know

35:16
life each each moment for learning is is about opportunity you know and you're

35:22
not going to have enough ability in my opinion I mean granted unless somebody

35:28
you know out of the blue makes you a pastor of a a church or something you know it's not like you're going to have

35:34
the context to be able to be a public speaker on a daily basis right you know but you're continuing to kind of grow

35:41
those as opportunities provide themselves and you know at the end of five years yeah that's you know and more

35:48
opportunity comes as you know you put yourself out there mhm but yeah I think

35:53
I think there's something to be said for you know as as as I grow in my desire to

36:00
do something I think it's neat how God provides opportunity you know for that

36:05
yeah that's true you know that I might not have had otherwise but once I start kind of you know putting my toe in the

36:12
water thinking you you know as you you kind of began your your worship Journey

36:18
you know it's like it wasn't something you necessarily sought out to do you know from a kid you know it was very

36:25
much something that came to you later on and you know that kind of thing as you've learned to play and sing and you

36:31
know and you pick up another instrument or you know do the Rhythm Rhythm piece you know that kind of thing in the

36:37
context it's just it's just fun to watch yeah you're right about those opportunities kind of opening God

36:43
opening those opportunities if when your heart you know is has certain desires or whatever definitely yeah the amount I

36:50
could do you know music or worship is way more than I have the opport you know

36:57
the the time and you know you know what I mean the bandwidth for now where that wasn't you know true for a long time but

37:03
it was kind of a growing and that's that's how it works right the more competent the better your abilities are

37:10
in any given area the more opportunities will come your way yeah um but I also thinking too like about public speaking

37:16
or music that's a good one if like I want to learn to play guitar or piano or whatever you know I hear that a lot and

37:21
I think that's amazing uh I think it's so important to realize too if you're sticking with that one-year plan man

37:28
you're not going to be good in one year it doesn't like you're you're going to be very disgruntled in one year so if your

37:36
PL if your goals are you know limited to one year well the end of one year you

37:42
know there's a good chance you'll give up but if you have a goal of in five years I want to be able to play at this

37:47
event right or I want to be able to speak it to this number of people and be comfortable or whatever that is right

37:54
well at the end of one year you're going to like I said it's not going to be all amazing and happy and whatever but

38:01
you're going to see that the footsteps you took in that one year that are contributing to that 5year goal and you

38:07
can say and then year two I can to build on this Foundation that started in year one agre and I think anything like those

38:15
kinds of things are going to require a much bigger goal mindset no doubt

38:21
especially again learning something new that first year always sucks it just does unless you're

38:28
mind like water you yeah you're cool with the journey or whatever but I was

38:33
never that way like learning a new thing um I always hated it because it's like I I was supposed to be good at this

38:39
already yeah we want that instantaneous you know ability and reward without the

38:46
The Sweat Equity you know it's like yeah yeah and you know there's some things

38:51
that in life that come easy and other things that don't you know and like um I

38:57
was pretty good at getting good grades in high school and M various things that

39:02
nothing ever seemed super hard sure until I tried to learn the guitar and

39:08
I'm like this should just be yeah like I shouldn't I shouldn't be

39:13
so it shouldn't be so frustratingly hard and I really felt that way for a long

39:18
time and then as I started to learn to sing and do that it was kind of the same thing like yeah why is this not as easy

39:25
as it should be you know it's like my perspective is a little off I think

39:31
I've learned to appreciate that more it's interesting to think about that in

39:36
the how have you uh how have you learned to decide what to challenge yourself to

39:42
continue in and what you say okay this this isn't me yeah and it was just a a

39:51
nice thought but that's something I need to to to set aside

39:58
it's a good question I mean I have yeah I have thoughts do you have things like that

40:04
too that you I mean I'm sure you can well it's

40:10
um for for me I I was I was asking you because I realize you do have more of a

40:16
a higher expectation uh from from my perspective you know yeah of of your ability yeah

40:24
you know and granted some of that you know may be my expectation of myself has

40:29
mellowed with age you know to where I don't I don't necessarily I do what I

40:34
can to the best of my ability knowing what I can but it's like and that's why

40:39
I was thinking about it from a a a multi- generational you know it's like how do I know how do I how do I

40:47
recognize the areas that I need to challenge myself in where I still need to be stepping out taking the new ground

40:54
if you will even it's when it's hard yeah even when it's hard through the hard pushing through the hard no matter

40:59
how old I am but be also being able to recognize that okay this this isn't what

41:06
I was designed to do and you know though though that that week was just that week

41:14
you know it's like I'm not I'm not going to be I'm not going to from my perspective I'm not going to be a

41:20
worship leader you know what I mean I just don't have a voice for leading worship and my range you know those kind

41:28
of things I'm not a great singer I mean granted I I don't mind speaking you know

41:33
but you know that would be something that it's like from my perspective it would be foolish for me to take on that

41:40
role yeah of wanting to be a worship leader yeah I get it and I I I also feel

41:45
like so many people who say that and I don't think that I'm not saying this is true of you but so many people say that just Mark you're right you can't sing no

41:53
I'm saying just kidding some of people who say that aren't willing to endure what it would take to become good at it

41:59
agreed agreed you know it's like well I'd have to sing in front of people and I would sound bad and I can't endure

42:06
just that just just that in and of itself is it worth the pain um and I

42:12
understand that and for me one of the things that um like preaching at church was one of those things that sure I kind

42:18
of had this desire of my heart to do that from the time when I was a teenager

42:24
just thought that was going to be a big part of what Ministry look like for me and um and so I preached at Generations

42:31
a couple times and I feel like I did fine great whatever um yep but the toll

42:37
that it took on me um so and it's one of those things where it definitely was a

42:42
struggle of what you're saying like when do you push through that pain and that difficulty because it's worth it and for

42:50
me it was always like well of course that thing's worth it and of course you you know but it got to the like it would

42:57
trigger depression almost every time I preached okay and I would have to fight through that wow and it was just such

43:05
like an existential thing for meh um and you know other things have been that way

43:11
too but often for me um when it kind of triggers into that certain mhm you know

43:17
that level that's when I have to really take it seriously like is this really worth that or not sure you know yeah

43:24
yeah yeah when you recognize the consequences that go along with that activity it's like okay yeah yeah and

43:32
music has certainly hit that nerve of many times

43:37
through the my time working at it but the difference was the amount of time in

43:42
it so like with music I almost never worry leading up to an event or

43:48
performance I don't I don't really struggle with that those nerves I mean you know good nerves but not like oh am

43:55
I going am I going to am I going to mess up I kind of just just assume it's going

44:01
to be fine and I'm going to do fine and then when I don't that's when it's kind of devastating like I can't believe I

44:08
messed up like how you know that's impossible you know I don't know just this m this like really shakes me like

44:16
wow I really messed up you know sure um especially you know previous I would say

44:22
I'm I'm growing through that now it's it's not nearly as impactful but for yeah a long a long time there and then

44:29
also depending on the context like if I messed up at church like that felt like I had a much bigger impact because of

44:37
specifically people I was trying to impress or cared about their opinion and knowing you know that this could impact

44:42
that was really really hard on me and I would struggle with that for a good week

44:48
sometimes but preaching it would be the leading up to so I would know I was preaching you know in 6 months right I'd

44:55
know that far in advance and and you'd have a topic at that point routinely would the schedule go out that

45:01
far yeah you usually have the sermon series I got that far out right like

45:06
we're talking about whatever and um so I would start mulling on it and I always enjoyed that part but as the time got

45:13
compressed my stress just exponentially would increase and I would be dwelling

45:18
and thinking about like am I going to get it done in time you know like just like there's so much to do and you know

45:25
so much prep and so much it just and it really honestly when I look at the prep and all that stuff it wasn't crazy like

45:33
es my mind just couldn't quite chill you know and it would always just really

45:40
take a toll on me to the point where I would just be like why am I doing this and why am I doing anything you know I

45:47
got really really mess with me and so after you know so many times do and then

45:52
and then here's the the kicker too again a lot of this ties into proval addtion but I would get up I do the thing I felt

45:58
like I did a good job and then I was like why isn't everyone banging my door down saying how good a job I did like

46:04
this how is this worth it you know and then of course at preaching right like I

46:10
put that on the altars every single time and I had to just be like of course this isn't about that um and then I almost

46:17
had to get to a place where mentally I didn't care what people thought but that

46:23
also felt so flat and empty like I do do care it does matter I want this to

46:29
matter and like if I don't care what people think I want to care I do care

46:34
that it impacts them or else why the heck am I doing it MH you know what I mean yeah and so that that started to

46:42
become a thing like did it did anyone hear it did it matter did it make an impact you know sure and all of those

46:50
things the trade up just wasn't worth it where something like this podcast

46:55
minimal prep and I feel like you know I'm able to

47:01
make whatever impact I'm able to make but it's the stakes aren't so high sure right yeah um so for me that me that's a

47:07
good example of something that I just said you know I just don't think that's what I'm meant to be doing right now

47:13
like I have I care about my family too much to take myself out of the game for

47:18
two months or a month or whatever that you know because it really would just like Megan would say he was just like

47:25
he's a different place but it you know oh wow like it my mind was just always I don't know it's consuming so I think

47:32
that's a good example for me is if it's uh we talk about um in my accountability

47:38
group we meet once a week we have these questions we go through one of the questions is um are are there any

47:44
distractions in your life that are preventing you from pursuing God's purpose in your like you know the specific things God's called you to do

47:51
and for me it was kind of a Eureka moment or a slow eure it certainly wasn't like oh that's what but like

47:57
slowly over time realized preaching is a distraction from what God's called me to do oh wow yeah

48:04
right and like you you know you never would think that's true yeah and it became where that was a realization for

48:11
me like I'm called to be a father and a husband and you know CR very involved

48:16
there and you know you know this podcast all these things prior yeah where it's very clear that um I'm supposed to be

48:23
doing that and that's a that's that's one of the purposes yeah right now too it's also about uh

48:30
maybe someday right and I think that's an important piece to this question you

48:35
asked to but like maybe someday y um anyway so that that became the

48:40
realization oh it's a distraction it's not what I'm supposed to be doing and everything else is distraction no it's

48:46
actually the other way around where these are the things God's very clearly called me to do and that thing's

48:52
distracting me from it so I have to say no and where music has always been squarely right in the smack in the

48:58
middle of what God's having me to do right now you know my involvement with CR my my family they all you know my

49:04
wife does music my kids do music like sure so I was squarely kind of in that

49:10
zone and again it wouldn't take me out of the game for a month you know like it

49:15
was it's not that kind of thing so uh that's a long answer but I do think it

49:20
really has to do with the level of impact that it has on your life and whether that impact is worth the tradeoff mhm and I think you have to the

49:28
only way you know that is if you're continually evaluating or taking time to reflect on it you know what I mean so I

49:35
think yeah I think that reflection is so important if you wait a year to figure out am I on the right track you you

49:41
might be a year off track and I think it's important to continue that evaluation on a regular basis I think it

49:47
is what you're describing from my perspective becomes that healthy self-awareness type thing you know that

49:53
I'm growing that's a practice thing oh that's I agree agree I agree yeah it is

49:58
but it is you know even even knowing that that is a thing is definitely a

50:05
thing you know to be to be able to say okay yeah what did I do because I I

50:12
think I think from my perspective I don't necessarily have real high expectations I try to keep my

50:18
expectations pretty healthy and if anything I focus you know on the things

50:24
once once I've done something I've kind of kind of focus on okay what could have made that better or you know what did I

50:31
miss iterating yeah that that I won't that I'll try to remember to do better

50:37
next time you know in that context of you know it's like okay it was good nice

50:42
job but okay how can we do it better for next time I think that's kind of the it's a little bit of the difference in

50:48
our mindset yeah you know yeah which I a very much value and I think I

50:55
consider that wisdom and I have been trying to adjust my think way of thinking to that degree over the last I

51:02
got you whatever years like that is my goal is to get closer to that side of the equation cuz as you know nice as it

51:10
sounded what you were saying earlier about my expectations is actually a problem right like it it can be

51:15
problematic to where it will it can cause a lot of distress sure you know

51:21
like you get up and you don't do 100% amazing and you deal with that and you

51:27
fight with that and you wrestle with that and it's a little bit over the top like come on Justin no I it's yeah I

51:34
think that's a part of it I I think it is interesting as I think about what you share and kind of what my it's like that

51:42
six months leading up you know typically I find that you know if

51:48
I'm to do that it is amazing how God provides what he wants me to say when he

51:54
provides the opportunity you know kind of that whole dynamic you know not that

51:59
I'll still do it you know perfectly in my own but well you were on the um the

52:04
renewal that we did that you know that we had for you know the couple that we know together you know that kind of

52:11
thing it was like most of what I said was something that just God brought to my heart out of a moment of time you

52:18
know and being able to say okay this connects with that and it's it's amazing how God can do that and you know and

52:25
then it kind of came down to the fact that you know in what I shared I didn't

52:30
want it to come across as blaming and that that was the only thing that I would have changed that there were

52:36
moments when I compared the the horse and the dog I didn't want it to seem like I was blaming but yet growing in

52:42
that awareness don't be the dog come on guys yeah exactly you know and I didn't want it to seem like I was fault finding

52:50
but yet that ability to say okay yes this is my tendency I tend to be you

52:56
know a little more um determined or I tend to focus on what power looks like

53:04
and you know that's just part of my self-awareness type stuff and as I grow I can recognize okay yeah the

53:11
combination of the two the combination of the two is good so just because you like Power and I might be more

53:17
determined doesn't mean that those things are bad it's that ability to recognize How We join them in a in a

53:25
yeah so yeah that was that's yeah no I I love that I think I think you did a nice

53:31
job and I think you while not saying it and I'm I'm real disappointed in you mark but you you mentioned the stick in

53:38
those aspects to be able to say the stick yeah that's that's where the disappointment comes I know how you're

53:44
disappoint very clear that you're speaking about this dick you should just say it and then give me credit I should

53:51
I should you are correct Justin I I am I still see I still have room for self

53:57
awareness yes exactly no and even others awareness Justin wants me to remember

54:04
the stick he can take credit for the stick

54:09
analogy anyway one of the things I love about this stick is that it just gives so much balance to the conversation and

54:15
it's much easier to talk about the hard stuff because it's attached to this good stuff and it's really you can't really

54:21
detach them so it's it's about talking about the balance and I feel like that's exactly what you were doing uh I think

54:27
the struggle is when we use words like no offense or whatever when it's like well why is that offensive you know and

54:34
or we try and cover for the bad and it's like I don't think we need to cover for the bad I think we can just speak to it

54:40
in a way that says this is a reality and so this and it's balanced by this other thing and you know they kind of go hand

54:46
in hand so it's about you know um anyway and I feel like that's what you did like I feel like you did a good job of that

54:52
and um but I I I as you described what you are saying I could hear like I I

54:58
could see what you're saying I could see how you could reflect on that but I certainly and sometimes I think you know

55:04
it is that aspect of people don't hear it that way right but yeah I'm concerned

55:09
at times that it could have come across that way you know it's good I think it's

55:14
good to iterate on yourself that way and I think that's the the the beauty of you know Communication in general yes you

55:21
know so often you know it's not just me saying what I'm

55:26
saying but it's also how people hear it that I have very little control over you

55:32
know so that's that's the you know yeah can you say what you mean can you understand what you hear type stuff you

55:38
know it's it's it's reciprocal context matters so much too when you're speaking

55:45
even you know public speaking but you even normal speaking but yeah um you know and you are in a room full of

55:51
people who just love you and like consider you our brother and like we do life with you and so we know who Mark is

55:58
we know what you're saying we know your heart so you couldn't do wrong in that

56:03
context in my perspective like you could totally put your foot in your mouth and

56:09
everyone would just be chuckling and love love you for it like I think context is really important too to

56:15
remember when you're speaking it uh but maybe you know you put more you know iterations rounds into review if if

56:23
you're doing you know a wedding for V renewal or something in a cont where there might be antagonistic family

56:30
members who are people who aren't you know whatever maybe they opposed to that gender biases or whatever like maybe you

56:36
put more thought into it you you have to consider that but y um I think context really matters and that's one of the so

56:42
I I still speak occasionally at CR and that's never a problem because that's my family sure you know it's an opportunity

56:48
to talk to my family I love talking to my family whether it's my family in the house over there my family on Friday

56:54
nights you know I always love I love talking to you Mark I love talking to my family and your lers yeah yeah exactly

57:02
you're our family how I see it family we invited him into our home by

57:09
uh taking some pictures of our trees and posting there go yeah you for I didn't show you that but yeah thanks for do we

57:14
talked about it and then we did it so I'm proud of it 2023 complete yes indeed

57:22
so that being said 2024 yeah as far as God allowing you know that

57:30
that whole aspect not the you know it's not about us you know saying we're going to go here and we're going to do this

57:37
but in that process what are you what are you being called to in 2024 that

57:43
only that only Justin can do so for the last few

57:51
years uh my purpose as a dad is just really cleared up and that's a huge win

57:57
for me honestly um cuz I was I'm always been I've always been very distracted by

58:04
shiny and for a long time I thought um Ministry and preaching all those things

58:10
those are um The Pinnacle I hear you you know what I mean Y and um performance I

58:17
think that's one of the beautiful things about my life is God has gifted me the opportunity to see what the quote

58:23
unquote Pinnacle was like and then said are you sure that's what you want I don't think that's what you want I think

58:29
you should be doing what I asked you to do you know sure and uh I'm being tongue and cheek I mean I think it's all part

58:35
of the journey but um I think that's one of the Beautiful Things is being able to

58:40
operate in some of those areas you know being able to preach a few times and going you know that's not for me right now and that's okay and I also feel I

58:48
also have felt such an incredible amount of accomplishment of like that's something I wanted to do for when I was

58:54
young and I was able to do it and so I I don't take away from it I think it's

58:59
it's um um sheesh I don't remember the

59:05
question oh prior so for me that's kind of the

59:10
clearest thing right now yeah and so really every every opportunity that's

59:16
going to come for the next few years is going to be filtered through how does this impact that um and even I'm been

59:22
working on this side job and I put a lot of thought and conversation with Megan

59:27
into like is this worth it and by worth it I mean not just the money and the whatever but like the time that will be

59:33
taken away at Christmas and like where where my focus will be and um but even

59:39
in that like being able to disengage from that and engage with the family and realizing how important that is like

59:45
where before be like yeah I have this work I have to I'm here but I really need to get back to work but now it's

59:50
like I'm here and I'm here and then as soon as that's done okay back to that and be so for me that's kind of the

59:57
clearest thing in the next few years and everything every opportunity that comes is kind of filtered through that because

1:00:04
again I think that is one of the Beautiful Things is I've reached some of the things that have been lifelong

1:00:10
desires you know doing music and worship and preaching and some of those things are heart's desires things that I I've

1:00:16
been given in some senses and that just has I would say cured me a of a lot

1:00:24
of stuff say work-wise too there's some things work-wise that I've accomplished that I've recognized like yeah this

1:00:30
Pinnacle you know it's it's not as wonderful as you know whatever that looks like like those accomplishments so

1:00:37
I think I've reached a point in my life where I'm okay with just one day at a time and see you know considering each

1:00:44
opportunity as it comes and not being so busy so plny so intentional MH but being

1:00:51
intentional with the moments sure and uh I also realized in clarifying all of those things one of

1:00:59
the things that only Justin can do and that Justin's good at is one onone

1:01:04
interactions with people and mentoring and and in kind of that Brotherhood

1:01:10
relationship that I have with many guys and realizing like of all the areas

1:01:15
where I feel like I'm most most gifted it's in that relational oneon-one opportunity with people and and being

1:01:22
able to make sure my plate isn't so full that those can't happen somewhat

1:01:27
impromptu does that make sense makes perfect sense so I don't know that I have a really great answer to like specifically 2 24s more is like kind of

1:01:34
my broad perspective on the years growing continuing to grow in

1:01:40
prioritizing family you know is definitely what I heard in that process

1:01:46
and and second to that is you know establishing you know accountability type relationships with other you know

1:01:53
people and continuing to make sure that I'm about the things that only I can do in that gifting that God has

1:02:00
given you that's kind of what I heard in the process yeah and all that everything you just described none of that looks

1:02:06
like a a goal poost in the ground at the end of 2024 right like like they're not

1:02:11
I can't but and I also haven't put that much time into thinking about no but and

1:02:16
and and yet part of that father role is going to change or it's going to look

1:02:23
different at the end of 24 with the 16-year-old going on 17 you know you

1:02:29
know just the different Dynamics as your children change you know and having to

1:02:35
not having to being able to adjust to those differences and you know and and

1:02:41
how you and Megan do that as a couple you know in that kind of dynamic and

1:02:47
being able to recognize okay yeah this side stuff that you're currently doing there may be more of that you know if

1:02:53
it's if it's beneficial both you know from a financial perspective and it offers me more flexibility with my time

1:03:01
yeah why not you know and that can be a part of that 2024 but I'm still going to kind of hold that in a sense of

1:03:08
looseness that says okay I may be open to a little more of this but how do I create boundaries around it right yeah

1:03:15
no and this has been a good test of that because I haven't done any side work in quite some time um kind of put that

1:03:22
aside because anyway but it's been good it just got okay I can I can kind of Define it I can

1:03:28
and then even some of our conversations about what what what how it could look

1:03:34
better in planning for those things and some of the boundaries to put in place and I think one of the things you and I

1:03:39
talked about is not not allowing hard deadlines of being able to say only take things that I can say it should take

1:03:46
between three and six months or sure you know whatever and like kind of having if you want me this is what you get kind of

1:03:52
thing and that's been helpful for me in that mindset but sure but yeah yeah no

1:03:58
yeah fair enough fair enough I like it yeah so that being said to you are

1:04:05
listening family uh we what's your fiveyear plans tell us yes we encourage you to be

1:04:13
able to take the opportunity for a new year and say okay how do I want to grow

1:04:19
in this next year and how can you know and even being able to look back and see how you've grown the last five years and

1:04:26
celebrate you know what God has done and how he has blessed your obedience in

1:04:32
that process and yet continuing to recognize okay he's not done with me yet yeah and there's still more for 2024 and

1:04:41
it's not about resting on what he has done it's about continuing in the process of growing you know in my faith

1:04:47
and in my spiritual you know spiritual relational relationship with Jesus

1:04:53
Christ so that's good we invite you uh to uh join us on this journey for the

1:04:58
new year and we look forward to uh hearing from each and every one of you in the process we know that we

1:05:04
appreciate you um we appreciate your faithfulness in 2023 as you've listened

1:05:10
and yet know that each opportunity we get to interact with you in 2024 is an

1:05:16
opportunity we value and appreciate when you come up and say hey I just just finished to listen to your podcast and I

1:05:22
enjoyed this or hey have you thought about this and that kind of thing know that we relish and uh appreciate those

1:05:28
opportunities to interact with uh with each and every one of you as as time and opportunity allows

1:05:35
so amen happy New Year Happy New Year to

1:05:40
you as well Justin that's how we see it listeners yes that's how we see

1:05:46
[Music] it hey thank you for listening to our

1:05:54
podcast if you like how I see it please do all the things that podcasts tell you

1:05:59
to do subscribe rate review follow us uh

1:06:04
and or talk nicely about us on social media if you want to reach out the email

1:06:10
is us at how I see it doclick yep I said doclick as in C CK please

1:06:21
tell your friends about this show and we'll see you on the next one

1:06:27
[Music]